7th May ’17
Did somebody ever tell you all the things there is in life? Did someone tell you that its okay to be slow? That it is okay to let things on their own once a while? Well, nobody told me so. Right from the beginning I was made to believe that there is nothing else except studies. Do you know how it feels if you are forced to excel at something? I am sure am not the only one. Nobody asked me what I wanted…it was a matter of pride for them. I am not good at studies….just because they are not interesting enough. I do not find them intriguing…i don’t like them.
Everyday…every hour I am reminded what my main function should be.
You wanna know what I wanna do? I wanna travel for a living! I wanna know the history of the world…the civilizations..the past! I wanna see how beautiful the sunset can be in the darkest of nights.. I wanna see how big is a spaceship! I wanna see how a super collider looks! I wanna see so much!
I wanna see how beautiful the earth can be….i wanna feel every bit of the beautiful places on this earth…
I want to see Greece…I want to learn about the Greek Mythology…i want to visit Rome, Vatican City and so many places. I wanna see the St. Peter’s Basilica….the Sistine chapel..the Michelangelo’s painted ceiling! I want to know about the works of Dante!
I want to touch the walls…feel it..the coarseness…the sands…the pain of the workers to make the iconic structures…I want to know so much!
Alas..I am trapped in this competitive world trying to figure out what to become in life…living life on someone else’s terms.
Someday it may be just too much.
Another day in my daily life…today my internals finished at last! 4 days to go before my semester starts once more. I am quite afraid to be honest..well i always am….I should study but cant fix my mind on anything right now…my inside is trying to burst out. People want space…i give them…but no one listens to me.
i got nobody to talk to about these things. I dont know how long before i may have a complete breakdown.
i do good to people…i vouch for them…they betray…
mom says dont be too good to anyone….i just dont know why i cannot stick to that.
my life is just comprised of quarrels with other people and someone or the other getting hurt….in the end it is always me saying sorry….always me making up for peoples mistakes just to cheer them up.
I am tired of doing this!! >_<
I am not good at anything so i dint know before how long i can find something financially stable.
Depression hurts…when u got no one to listen…u kinda just do it yourself….u listen…u think…u cope up…
Crying to sleep helps..
Thinking of my dad helps…mom..
I dont think i would ever talk to anyone about this…until then i have this..
entries will follow…every day recorded….
it kinda helps to write all these down…
i wanna go to the US….NY..my dream city…
these things drive me…
I feel a bit better now…at least not gonna cry myself to sleep today…i guess…
Well, i have been a bit busy this week…i guess due to the projects i need to submit. It has been very hectic. Good thing was that i visited home and it felt really nice to see everybody. But the best thing was that yesterday i watched my first cricket match ever ^_^
It was between KKR and SRH at the Eden Gardens stadium 🙂
It was pretty exciting with all the crowd cheering and the energetic atmosphere there. The too loud music was just awesome 🙂 It was a great day indeed. I look forward to many more stadium visits 🙂
I would really love to go to see a match in another state, preferably in Bangalore 🙂
Cheers to the love of cricket 🙂
April 10 2017,
Started writing for the first time. I hope that I can come up with things to write. I have a test due tomorrow and I have no idea about what is gonna happen….i guess i should start studying. Wanna write how i see things 🙂
I really hope nobody reads my blog 🙂